Well, well, well. Look at that. They’re saying the quiet part out loud. Is it hubris, exhaustion, laziness? Regardless, our Boards of Trustees are now openly confirming cartel boss National Association of Independent Schools is calling the shots mandating our schools are now “Anti-Racism” DEI Systems, thus institutionalizing unwelcomed racism into our schools.
Best Practices for Anti-Racism Policies:
What are their best practices? Is it bringing all the kids together and celebrating how anyone in the world can be in America, have the same freedoms, marry anyone she wants, and work in any field? Is it showing the commonalities of all peoples throughout history both the positive and negative? Of course not – that makes too much common sense. Best practices for diversity and inclusion are to make everyone the same, segregate them, and exclude anyone who doesn’t follow the party line.
Follow us through Spence’s 7-page report on constructing racial hierarchies:
· Fully integrate restorative practices within the curriculum. Soledad O’Brien’s kid gets twenty extra grade points because of systemic racism. That rando asian immigrant kid who does three hours more homework than everyone else and isn’t allowed to go to parties or sleepovers gets twenty grade points lower because asians experience systemic racism but still use merit to succeed so they deserve to be penalized. White kids go back to the basement to self-flagellate. Don’t worry – false guilt and $$$ will get you time out of the basement.
· Diversify school by race and ethnicity only. People are not individuals with varying interests and thought processes. People are only races and ethnicities. Nothing bad comes from that. Just ask the Uyghurs.
· Implicit bias training. Babies are racist. Hey white preschooler - You don’t even know that you think your friend Aidan is dumb and dangerous. Hey black preschooler - You don’t even know that your friend Hallie thinks she’s better than you. Hey latinx and asian preschoolers – you don’t exist. You know, until midterms. Don’t forget President Brandon’s saying, “Poor kids are just as bright as white kids.”
· Mandatory “courageous conversations” for alums and staffulty. Because true courage is shaming and purging everyone who doesn’t think like the DEI guard.
· Board of Trustee Equity Committee. This one is super fun. We expect trustees who were put on the board by their previous board friends and the headmaster for their $$$ and sheeple rubber stamping abilities to treat the dual working children of immigrant parents to ride-alongs on their Cessnas to Aspen. We hope your Moncler jacket is from this season.
· Board Equity Committee is currently reviewing prospective organizations. Nothing says equity like spending more $$$ on the DEI Industrial Complex so tuition can become even more unaffordable for the non-finance peasants.
· Curriculum that supports “anti-racism” aka racism. Make sure kids gather round the share circle to learn about the great history of the victim olympics. Songhai Empire never existed. Africa was not part of the African slave trade. Time to get rid of old ideas, old customs, old culture, and old habits. Our new curriculum will ensure a great leap forward.
· Forced collectivization of 5 year-olds. Establish they know their collective guilt and collective oppression.
· Decrease time and resources for actual academic training.
· Spend all the school’s $$$ on forcing teachers to have struggle sessions - their favorite activity.
· Holiday parties and anything involving joy or celebrating faculty – Eliminar!
· Yay! Mean queen bee has a new topic to bully and make other moms feel less than!
· Try to socialize only with your own ilk. We hope this will increase divorces of interracial couples.
· Purge families at the pearly admissions gate. No need to waste time communicating with ideologically divergent.
· Aw, how cute - more data collection. And just who exactly will that data be collected by and given to? Look for a problem, ask leading questions, problem found, more work to be done, more $$$ for DEI Industrial Complex.
· Student equity council. Better hang on to those glasses, Piggy.
· Nothing says fun like social justice clubs! Why learn practical things like coding when she can learn how to make everything about herself and force her indoctrinated views upon others who dare to lead happy lives.
Thank You Sir, May I Have Another
We deeply hope you understand yourself better after a rigorous and passionate reading of Trinity’s “Anti-Racism” Task Force Recommendations. To combat the systemic racism that kept him down at Trinity, Harvard, and Harvard Law, NY County DA Alvin Bragg made sure his wife was on the task force so he could ensure no murderous felons were actually prosecuted.
It’s no wonder the U.S. is 25th in math. How many social justice clubs do you think Singapore and Estonian schools have?
Shits & Giggles Corner
Don’t worry about your social credit score, Goody Proctor – Abigail Williams is in charge.
